Clueless About Life

Remember when you're young? you were probably clueless, you didn't know anything, what you were, and what you're doing most of the time, as you grow you learn, from time to time, being human as they say, then you do some bad things, which is called mistakes, then they try to tell you not to do it again, somehow it slips, things happen or as they say Crap happens, but you promised yourself that you wouldn't do it again, that's the most important thing, knowing what's wrong and what's right, that's what differentiate us from Animal and Human Being, but somehow, some people behave like animal by doing all the wrong thing which eventually people called them animals, That mistakes is big and unforgivable, so all im saying is be careful for your life, the life you once know might be taken by one mistakes, one big miss is all it takes.

I was clueless too when i was a kid, not that i did anything wrong back then or now, im normal, live a normal life, going to class, but here's what i remember when i was clueless, when i was a kid probably 3 or 4, i used to watch television with my mom, we sat on a chair while watching a cartoon, don't remember what the cartoon is called but there was a big red shoe where everyone lives in, i also remembered mimicking Chef Wan on his show cause he always says "Pompuan" which means girls, i kinda got mad cause he says that even though im not a girl, little did i know that most people who watch his shows are woman, see clueless..
I remember trying to stop doing wrong things, i used to argue a lot with my parents, so i tried to stop my mouth from opening, cause every time i opened it, that's when the arguing starts, cause normally i would disagree with my parents, i have one cousin, and she listens to her mother well, but i kinda feel sad for her cause her mother likes to scold her every time she made a little mistake, it's not much of a mistake only that she did thing slower, i guess that made her mother mad, i guess all mothers are mad when they're children don't listen to them, sorry mom..
I remember making my mom cried by giving them bad result in my exams, i remember her tore up my paper in front of me in pieces, at that time i don't know what to feel, i wish i could say that i will try better, but even if i did, i'll never do better, i could never better, im not undermining myself, im just pointing what's out there, after that my dad put the paper back together with tapes, later that day i had to send back the paper, thankfully the teacher didn't ask me why, guess she kinda understand...

Crying,i guess it runs in the family, when i was small i like to watch Chinese Drama with my cousins and mother, but the problem is they understand it and i don't, but there's subtitle so no problem there, still wish that i could speak Chinese though, cause my Chinese blood would go to waste if i can't speak it, and it weirds me out that how Chinese people are smart right, and im half Chinese, why am i not smart, yeah just a random thought..
Anyway, i remember my mother used to cry a little bit when she watch drama that made her sad, her eyes turns a little red as the veins started to show up, tears flowing down her face.
I kinda remember this, when i was a kid whenever i would cry, my mother ask me not to, if i cry, she would too, and i remember, after i cry, my parents would always give me a glass of water to drink, i guess it was a peace offering..
okay im starting to cry now..