Cheating

What is cheating?, basically, to lots of people, it's one of those thing you do to someone you love like being unfaithful, well there's lots more to cheating than that, i'm not talking bout that type of cheating, i'm talking the one that is actually related to what i'm doing, which is studying..

As far as i could remember, i never cheated in test or anything, i'm too honest to cheat, which explain why my results are not in their best state, but hey, at least i'm honest right, but honestly, if i did study, and i did get better result, i may go to a better school, and then what?, i'm still the same person, aren't i, sure, maybe my life would lead to better things eventually, but i'm not that type of person, sorry i'm not a hard worker, sorry that i waste my time for things that are invaluable, useless, and just plain nothing, but it's the only way i know how, i grew up without any support from peers or brothers or sister, i don't know, but somehow, it made me hard to find a way, answer, and someone to follow i guess, i mean if i had a brother, he would probably whoop my ass up, but more than that, he would probably teach me the wrong things and the right thing and how to differ them, i think at some point, i need that, i don't know would i do if i had a sister, i think it would be cool to have a sister, i have this cousin who is about my age, and he has a sister, and her sister adores him so much, i guess what i'm trying to say is, that i do want that, but, i don't think anythings gonna change..

So cheating, it's not that hard when you're a kid, well when i was a kid i didn't cheat on test, but i copied all the home works that are given by teachers, don't know why, but just plain, lazy, not that i'm busy doing anything, but things does get in the way.

And now, i kinda hate that it has to be the same way, well not exactly, but i do feel it's the same way, i still copy other people work, which explains why i'm not doing so well this semester, i remember the first semester and the second semester, i would do all those assignments on my own without any other people help, as soon as i get the question i would do them and finish them as soon as possible, but this semester, it's like when i'm in Primary three, it all goes downhill from there, i used to do so well in Primary one and two, then in Primary three, i realized that i hate math, i never realize that before, i do feel strange, cause i seem to do okay in math in Primary one and two, then Primary three came in, and during a test, my head just can't count, and i hate that, it made me dizzy, which eventually led to my failure, in Primary three i was in the top class, but i was in the last position, years after, i kept dropping, till Primary six, i ended up in the bottom class, the weird part bout that class is that, even though we fail all our paper, the teacher wasn't even angry, which is strange, it's like he didn't push us, it's like he's feeling that we have no hope what so ever, even if he tried it would be a waste of time, cause there's no way to save us anymore..

Well, i just don't wanna let history repeats it self, but i'm kinda feeling it, i'm failing terribly in primary three, and now i'm in the third semester, and i'm starting to see some signs, i already failed one paper, the subjects doesn't get any easier, i'm sleeping every chance i get, even if i wake up, it would to watch something on my laptop..
Damn i hate that, i wish i could change, i have about less than a month till the final exam, i swore to my self that i would do better, i'm not seeing any better, it's getting worser and worser, is it a curse?, will i do better only in the first two and fail terribly in the third and after that?, even if it's a curse, how do i break it..

It's depressing what's life becomes to me.
Hey my student ID is F1003, crap it's 3, i think that's a sign, what does three means to me.
My family is three, my dad, mom and me.
I have three room mates excluding me.
I have three friends who was once fat and now, friggin skinny as hell..
My contact number has lots of 3 in them, and i picked them..