New Years..

Last couple of days i've been talking bout how Christmas is coming near.. and just like that it has end.. i guess the saddest part of Christmas is that.. in a couple of days it's gonna be another New Year.. it's like this endless cycle of life.. but it's not like we're gonna repeat everthing we've done for the current year.. well i guess it's okay that way.. but it does bring questions to mind like what's gonna come? What will happen? What's new? well stuff like that..

To me new year are the saddest part of life.. where you have this incredible year.. but it has to end to the following year.. cause every beginning has an ending.. and every ending has a beginning..

With the words of Mike Shinoda from Linkin Park
"This is not the end this is not the beginning" i guess it means that nothing ever ends? well probably..

So new year.. i had a few.. i guess we all do.. i spend 18 years of New Year.. and when i was a kid.. i just wish that new year are on working days so that the holidays are longer.. i would so bum out if it was on saturday or sunday.. but it doesn't reaally make much difference.. still go to school.. i wish i could say school is cool.. but it's not.. i seriously wish that college are cool.. but they're just less lamer than school..
I mean the lame thing about school is that you go to class every single day.. teacher or no teacher.. you still go.. it's a bit wasting time when there's no teachers.. but that's one of the best time in a student lives.. cause there's no learning.. all you do is talk to your friends and play games.. i wish i could've enjoy school much more.. but school is lame..

College.. the only difference i spot is. well you get to stay up late.. but it doesn't really do any good.. cause you'll be sleepy in class.. and it's a little bit grown up.. i give you that.. but still lame.. cause you have to wear formal.. it's like your in school again.. but with colors.. not saying that students should be naked or anything.. just wished that college could be more casual.. wear tee's instead of a shirt.. wear jeans instead of slack.. sure i understand that the image it brings might harm the school reputations.. but we spent so many years on primary school and secondary school wearing the same friggin uniform every single day and looking exactly the same as the other students.. well except for girls, class monitor.. and Pengawas? yeah i don't know what they're called in english.. yeah.. but in secondary school they stopped using different types of shirts.. which means it's still the same.. okay talk bout school later..

And new year.. as i recall.. we usually bath our self with waters and flowers.. the flowers are actually on the water.. and pour it on our self as a sign of cleanliness towards the new year.. it's fun i guess.. we'll be eating with our families.. then just before the clock strikes 12.. all of us counted down the seconds to go before the new year unveil itself before us... you can hear all of them shouting.. "Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven, Six, Five, Four, Three, Two, One! Happy New Year".. and with seconds the last year we're forgotten and suddenly we're singing Auld Lang Syne.. while we cry and we hug our loved ones.. and we call our friends and family from afar to wish them a Happy New Year.. wishing that we could spent it with them..

Then there's the resolution.. i never actually tried myself.. cause i know i'll never do it.. but then.. procrastination are always on the way.. why do that when you can sleep?.. well okay.. i guess it's fun to do a resolution.. it's a little different from wishes.. but they're basically the same.. in wishes.. you usually ask for stuff that you're seriously never gonna get.. but somehow it works.. for resolutions.. you're just wishing for stuff that you are just too lazy t do.. big whoop..

New year.. seriously i wanna be different next year.. i'm sick of living like this.. maybe i'll be a vlogger.. well i haven't achieve the ultimate level of being a blogger.. but i can talk and walk at the same time right? i don't really get what beyonce is trying to deliver with those words.. you can seriously walk and talk at the same friggin time.. it's just gonna be a distraction.. but it's doable..
So vlogging.. i'm thinking about it.. i guess it's one of those things that i wanna do but don't think i can do it.. seriously.. you're gonna be on camera.. well it's only vlogging if you do it online.. but i think i keep it in view.. my reasons of wanna do it.. well.. i'm just trying to be better in english.. sure i know the words and i know how to use it.. but i can't speak them.. can't speak them smoothly.. i tried reading the newspaper.. and when i'm talking.. there's no tone.. which is one problem..and who knows.. maybe i can finally be open and talk to random people.. i have this problem where i can't talk to people.. people that i don't know.. i don't know why it's hard for me.. i guess there's the feeling that you might get rejected.. kinda like you tried to shake a person hand.. but they don't shake it.. which is a bit embarassing.. but seriously.. i want to be good in english verbally and not just in papers.. and the worst part of not being able to talk to random people is.. not being able to present well in presentations.. i have this problem where i can't talk infront a class.. it's called public speaking.. i guess everyone has problems with it.. but not all.. i wanna be one of those people.. who can speak purely from their heart and give one hell of a presentation..

Well other than that.. i wanna go out.. i mean inside is good.. i wanna experience what the world has to offer.. travelling.. sports.. other stuff that people enjoy that's not illegal.. cause i've been stuck.. and i think my dad is right.. i've become an anti-social.. well can you blame me.. i don't have a lot of friends.. for god sake's i don't even know how to take the bus to the city.. yeah that's how lame i am.. hey that rhymes..

Happy Holidays!
3 days till New Year