History Re-Occurring

So today the results came out.. i was feeling nervous.. who isn't, i'm not feeling nervous because it's the first time i'm getting a result.. no, but it's just that i didn't do quite well in this semester.. as i posted, i may have failed most of my test.. depressing... and i have a new quote..

*It's easier to blame people for their mistakes, but it's hard to blame yourself for yours..

Yeah, it's not fancy or anything.. just pointing out what i see.. like my dad always blames my mother for everything that went wrong, and the weird thing that even if it's his mistakes.. he still blames my mother.. yeah sometimes it's funny how people just won't admit their mistakes.. chill man..

And, yeah as usual i got to my laptop and started typing these words.. PMU.EDU.MY..

actually it's not really that usual, i just meant usual as in when i get my result i would actually typed those words.. and so i input my personal information.. then.. there's three option listed, of course there is.. i've been studying for 3 semester now.. and it's only been a year and a half...

so i clicked the latest result which is Jun 2010.. seriously.. what came next is my greatest thanks to god and probably the most depressing thing i've ever seen in my education...

I passed all my results.. sadly not with flying colors.. guess the colors flew far away from me... i do thank god for the results that i passed.. but i'm not happy cause it dropped a lot.. like a lot... and what's weird is that i actually set to be better for the third semester and ended up being worser....

Cool thing i learned today... i was cleaning my nose today and there was something stuck in there, so i pulled it out.. and like tears come out of my eye man.. i know that pulling your nose hair can be painful, but i didn't know that it could make you cry.. seriously.. now come to think of it.. i think that's how the actors do it when they do an emotional scene.. just pull your nose hair.. and it'll look real.. try it out.. who knows, maybe you'll be one of the greatest emotional actors.. of course there's the alternative.. real crying and Eye mo.. is that what it's called??

Okay back to the title... so i have a feeling like de ja vu here.. and honestly it scares me.. back when i was in primary school i used to be great at school, i used to bring good results to my parents and they always smile... that was in the 1st and 2nd year... then it all changed on the 3rd year.. i was doing well in the lowest class of all when i was in the 1st and 2nd year.. then when i was in the 3rd year.. i jumped into the best class.. weird thing is that i'm doing poorer in the best class and i'm doing so well in the low class. And that's not it.. i was actually the last one on the class when the results came in...

So yeah.. i do feel a little de ja vu here.. cause i was doing so great in the first and second semester.. but now.. the third semester.. i'm not failing or anything.. but i do see a decrement in terms of my results.. and the sad part is that.. i actually cared.. i mean i never cared before when i was in primary school.. my parents didn't push me or anything.. but this time.. i actually wanted this.. to be good.. and i did tried.. i barely tried when i was in primary school..

Then my dad came to my room and ask me about my results.. i told him it wasn't great.. and i could see the sadness in his face.. last two semester, he was happy when i got my results.. and now.. he just told me that it's okay.. and ask me to work harder...

And for this.. i'm thinking that wouldn't it better if i could go past and the futures... here's why..

I wish i could go to the past to learn.. not to change the past for a better future.. but to learn from my past mistakes so that i'll avoid it in the presents leading to a better future.. changing it would be cheating i guess.. i mean seriously.. how many mistakes have i done.. and i can barely remember all of them.. so the going to the past might resolve my problem.. but it might not.. damn.. time to build a time machine..

And as going to the future.. just wanna see how am i doing.. what the outcome is.. am i doing it right.. if i'm not, i can still change in the present.. i guess the only thing we can change is the present.. no matter how hard we try, we can't change the past.. and we can't know what the future holds..all we have is present.. so don't take it for granted...